A World of Façades
by tysk.valkyrja
Summary: Pansy wasn't just a cruel slytherin girl. She was a very troubled girl, yes, and artificially enhanced what cruel characteristics she had in order to survive slytherin during the time of Voldemorts return. Meanwhile she was just struggling like everyone else to go through being a teenager without too many blunders. My first attempt at a fanfic. Please R&R!
1. Prologue

Authors Note: Hello Everyone. this is my very first attempt ever at a fanfiction of any sort so any constructive criticism is greatly appreciated. This is an idea I've been trying to get on paper for a while so let me know what you think and if you'd like to read more. I have an outline for possible later chapters which would take place during her school years.

Some starting info about the story: This is my take on the character Pansy Parkinson during the Harry Potter series. It is a completely different point of view and Pansy is very OOC from how her character was written in the book. I don't wish to write this as an excuse or explanation for her cruel behavior, but rather as a completely different version of what possibly could have happened in her life. The first several chapters will be more or less going along with the general plot line of the first few books, but I may take quite a few liberties later on that will make this a bit more AU.

Enjoy! Please R&R

Disclaimer: Any Harry Potter characters/material/plot lines/etc. belong to J.K. Rowling

Prologue

Fatalis Decisionem

I pressed my ear against the crack of the great, reddish maple, doors to the sitting room. I was so proud to have made it all the way downstairs from my room without so much as a single house elf having noticed me, and now I was going to take advantage of it.

Every kid knows that the things adults discuss behind closed doors are the most interesting in the world; even though they only manage anything along the lines of completely boring if you're in the same room. So Draco and I made it a game when we were four years old. We would see who could listen to our parent's 'private talks' the longest without being noticed and report back to the other when we were next allowed to play because our parents were visiting each other.

Of course, that was three years ago, and we were just kids then and not very good at not getting caught. But as I was proving today, that had changed.

We're both seven whole years old now, and had gotten a lot better at hiding.

I heard voices drift through the door, but though I could hear my parents, I couldn't figure out what the things they're saying meant, which was really annoying!

My dad's voice said, "…decided to remain loyal, at least as a façade. The Lestrange's have been pressuring them. And of course we all know that _he'll _be back eventually, and the first thing he'll do is punish any defectors."

Before I had a chance to even wonder what a 'defectors' was, my mother's gentle voice cut in, right as my father seemed to falter.

"So they're keeping everything the same; hiding in plain sight, I suppose, so that they don't have to go in hiding, for Draco's sake"

Wait what? Hiding? I was hiding right now, why did they want to hide? And what did Draco have to do with this 'defectors' thing? What did draco have to do with any of it at all? Did he get in trouble with his aunt Bella? She's scary, I hope he didn't. Or wait, dad said _he_ so maybe they meant Draco's Uncle Rodolphus. But wasn't his uncle Rodolphus on that long business trip to that island place, Azaka? Azbakan? Whatever it was called. Mum said that Draco's aunt Bella was supposed to be at the island whatchamacallit with his uncle Rodolphus, but Mrs. Bella still managed to visit Draco at the manor a lot.

"…the same for Pansy."

My name coming up in the conversation startled me back from my thoughts, and my heart momentarily jumped to my throat because I thought they'd found me. But apparently, I'd just missed some of what dad had said in response to mum.

"So what do you think?"

Mum again, then silence. I strained to hear in case they were whispering, but for some time, I couldn't hear anything except for the faint sound of the crackling of flames from the fireplace inside the sitting room. Couldn't they hurry up? I didn't even know who they were talking too, though hopefully it would become clear soon since mum just asked whoever it is something.

"I'm sorry Katherine, Gareth…I can't do it. I'm done with that life. I won't go back to it."

Oh! It was Aunt Abigail, mum's sister. But what did she mean?

"I'll pack up my things and go into hiding. I'll be gone by the morning, before that death eater meeting tomorrow that all of you will have to attend to prove your continued loyalty to Voldemort to some of the more eccentric death eaters like Bella or Greyback…I really don't envy you that."

Mum and dad made odd shushing noised when Aunt Abigail mentioned Voldemort, and I couldn't believe my ears. Mum had told me 2 years ago when someone else said that name never to repeat it because it was very bad. Why was Aunt Abigail saying it? But Aunt Abigail was talking again, though so quietly that I had to press my ear even harder against the door so that it nearly hurt to hear anything.

"Don't try to enter my property up in Scotland anytime in these next few…well, however long it takes. I'll be putting up some cautionary spells, and undetectability charms will be the least harmful of them. I'll visit every once in a while but I can't make any promises about-" CRACK

I nearly jumped out of my skin as I heard the familiar noise of a house elf apparating from inside the room, cutting off the rest of what Aunt Abigail had been saying.

"Here's the tea you requested, Mistress"

Oh, well really now, that wasn't interesting! I wanted to hear the rest of the conversation!

"Thank You Betsy. Oh, before I forget, would you be so kind as to check on Pansy?"

Oh No!

I turned tail and ran, scampering down the hall, up the stairs, around the corner and down another hall before I could even hear the beginnings of Betsy's, "Of course, Mistress."

I can make it! I can make it! I kept repeating to myself as I ran as fast as I could down the hallway. No I can't. I slowed to a stop, trying to get my breathing under control as I stood next to the door to my room, out of sight.

"Miss Pansy" I heard the worried voice of my favorite house elf Betsy from inside the room.

What was I going to say? Ah-BATHROOM! The thought exploded in my head just as Betsy peeked out from my room.

"Miss Pansy, what are you doing here?" and noticing my still too quick breathing, asked, "Miss Pansy, are you alright? Should I fetch Mistress?"

Yawning, I said in my best 'tired-voice'. "I had to go to the bathroom." Well, that still didn't explain why I was out of breath, but at least Betsy seemed to accept the excuse for being out of bed.

"Well let's get you in bed, miss. You don't want to be tired tomorrow, do you?" Betsy chided lightly.

I shook my head compliantly, hoping Betsy wouldn't ask any more questions and made my way into my room and to my bed.

"Do you need anything else, miss?" Betsy asked.

I shook my head, fake-yawned again and said, "No, thank you, Betsy," crawling under my covers. Betsy straightened my covers and picked up a small pillow that had fallen that I had sewn myself once when I was bored. She placed it comfortable under my arm and said softly, "Goodnight, miss."

I lay wide awake for several more minutes, trying to make sense of what I'd heard, and frustrated that I couldn't. I mean really, they could have been a bit more considerate…even though they didn't know that I was listening.

With a sigh, I turned onto my side, and closed my eyes, deciding to maybe get some sleep after all. I was just drifting off, when I heard the door open.

"Pansy?"

That was Aunt Abigail again. I half wanted to turn over and sit up. But then I remembered what she had said. She was going to leave us, that much I had understood. Maybe she would stay longer if I wasn't awake so she'd be able to say goodbye to me. That thought brought a smile to my face, and as she sat on my bed, I snuggled further into the covers, eyes closed, my back to her, acting as asleep as possible, which was honestly getting easier with every minute that I grew more tired. She began talking softly.

"Hey Pansy…I know you won't remember this since you're sleeping…"

She trailed off, her breath shaky as though she were trying to hold back tears. I waited for her to continue, curious now.

"...but, since I can't say goodbye properly…Pansy, I have to leave for a while. I wish I could tell you why but it's better this way…maybe it's actually good that you're asleep…I won't have to make any bad excuses"

Oh. So she wasn't bothering to stay to say goodbye properly. Didn't she care at all? She was home usually nearly as much as mum and dad…sometimes more than dad when he was on business trips. She couldn't just up and leave like this! I grew angry, and that made me yet more determined to keep acting as though I were asleep. She didn't deserve my goodbye if she wasn't going to bother to do it properly.

"I'll see you again, I promise. It just might be a while. I'm so sorry Pansy…"

Well it didn't really seem like she was!

"…remember I love you…If I don't see you before school starts for you, then good luck. You'll be wonderful. And don't let anyone choose your house for you, ok?"

Alright, now she's gone loony. She has to be back before I go to Hogwarts: that's four years, otherwise!

"I'm sorry I couldn't do this properly, but it may actually be easier this way. Goodbye, Pansy, I'll miss you soo much"

I went stiff as a board when I felt her getting off the bed, and heard her moving towards the door. I heard a faintly whispered, "sleep well", and then footsteps down the hall. She actually means it! She's leaving!

The shock began to wear off as my anger also wears away. I jumped out of my bed and race to the door. I couldn't see her in the hallway. I ran along it in the direction of the front door, which was still a while away though. I arrived at the top of the stairwell leading down to the foyer in time to see Aunt Abigail hug my mother goodbye and disappear out the front door. I was too late. I trudged back to my room much more slowly, the walk seeming to take ages in comparison. Tears run down my face, and I don't bother to pick up the pillow that had yet again fallen on the floor when I'd jumped out of bed.

I got very little sleep that night, and I didn't see Aunt Abigail again for nearly four years, until the summer before my first year. But by then, I'd harbored bitter feelings towards her for too long, and refused to even be polite to her.


	2. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: The Harry Potter world and characters belong to JK Rowling.

I looked around the platform, perplexed. I suppose at least the structure itself was somewhat…grand, if I was being very lenient. But the people themselves, all of them muggles were dressed quite oddly. Some had the decency to at least attempt something that looked somewhat formal, though I could see no nice cloaks, or any cloaks at all for that matter, but then again there were others who just looked, well, sloppy. Sloppy, and in a very muggle-like fashion. I was horrified when I realized that some of the sloppy-looking muggles were actually pushing trolleys with owls on them, and I think I even saw a kneazle, indicating that they were wizards.

I kept as close to my mother as was possibly appropriate, wary, though not fearful, of these new surroundings. I was already dressed in my new Hogwarts robes, and I was tempted to try and hide in my mother's shimmery dark grey satin cloak when I saw curious stares directed at us. I breathed a sigh of relief when my mother pulled me through the barrier with practices ease, just as everyone had turned away. My father followed close behind.

Platform 9 ¾ was almost even louder and definitely a lot busier than the muggle platform. As I saw the numerous trolleys trying to push their way through the crowd I understood why my parents had decided to send my luggage ahead to the school.

I nearly jump as I feel a large hand on my shoulder, but turn to see my father looking back at me with a calming expression. "Don't worry, my angel, you'll do fine. Make us proud."

I gave him an unsure smile in return, then hugged him and kissed his cheek in farewell.

"I'll try, father".

He kissed the top of my head, and then turned me gently towards my mother, who had a loving smile on her face, a rare sight given that we were in public. She gave me a graceful hug, I swear, my mother and Aunt Narcissa both could manage to make anything look graceful, and then spoke reassuringly.

"Your father's right, Pansy, you'll be fine. And remember, Draco is there as well so you already have at least one friend you can count on. Look, there the Malfoys are now."

I followed her indicating gaze and brightened at the sight of my long-time friend. I hadn't seen him over the summer much, so I was excited to catch up with him, and maybe pester him a bit. It was our habit to annoy each other, and it was so much the easier, given that we knew each other so well. I flashed a mischievous smile at Draco, but only received a cold, indifferent look in return. The smile nearly slid off my face, but I kept it planted there, determined not to let him irk me. Maybe he was just having an off-day, after all.

My mother led the way to the Malfoys, and she and Aunt Narcissa greeted each other regally, though affectionately. My father and I followed, my father remaining a step behind me, and nodding to Lucius, who returned the semi-formal greeting with a nod of his own. I peered quizzically at Draco, but he seemed fixated on a point somewhere over my shoulder. When I chanced a glance back, though, there was no one in sight that he could have had any interest in looking at.

I only half paid attention to my mother and Aunt Narcissa's conversation, and before long, they had once again turned to Draco and I, apparently not having noticed our silence, and prompted us gently to go get on the train. At this point, I stepped towards Narcissa, who gave me a hug, and let me go in time to see that Draco had apparently warmed up enough to somewhat appropriately accept a similar farewell from my mother. Then, after a last short goodbye to my parents, and he to his parents, Draco and I walked towards the train. With every step he seemed to inch further away from me. Once we stepped into the train, out of sight of our parents, he turned to me and, hardly looking me in the eyes, said nastily,

"I'm sitting with Crabbe and Goyle. No girls allowed, so find your own compartment."

I was tempted to give a biting retort, but before it could reach my lips, he'd turned and almost stormed down the corridor in the opposite direction. I shrugged and tried to shake it off, though I couldn't really understand. Halfway along a carriage, I nearly bumped into a girl who looked to be my age, wearing glasses and with her nose in a book. Her book tumbled to the floor. Somewhat embarrassed at my clumsiness, which my mother would have punished by making me walk around the room with just such a book on my head as I had just caused to fall, heavy and old-looking, I stooped to pick it up, turning it over as I softly said, "I'm sorr-"

I froze mid-word, looking at the title with wary curiosity. The letters on the cover formed the words, _The true history of dark wizardry_. Looking for the name of the author, I found elegantly written, not a name, but instead a description, _written by one who practiced, and finally rejected, the dark arts. _I had heard my fair share about the dark arts. My grandfather, I knew, had dabbled in them. The Parkinson family was loosely connected to the First Wizarding War, though not nearly as much as Draco's family. My parents had avoided fighting or choosing a side, though, by having spent most of the time that it lasted abroad, and travelling for a few years after their marriage. They'd only in the last year or so begun to tell me about what they had learnt on their travels, and, maybe more importantly, given me a vague idea of what the dark arts were, and why they had done their best to avoid then during that war.

A gentle tugging on the book caused me to look up, and I relinquished it to its owner, who was giving me a rather odd, patient look as she retained it.

"I hope I'm not prying," mother said that was one of the worst of offences, "but why are you reading that?" I asked curiously.

"It was the last book that I hadn't read yet in my grandparents library…at least of those that they would allow me to read. It's quite interesting you know."

"Oh…" with nothing left to say, I fell back on the principles of conversation, and in this case purely manners, that my mother had drilled into me. "Pansy Parkinson, pleased to meet you."

She gave a thin smile, and replied, "Sally-Anne Perks. Have you by any chance found a free compartment yet?"

Straight to the point, but not open with information, I noted, studying the girl. I decided that I quite liked these traits and gave her an apologetic smile. "No, not yet, shall we look together?"

With her nod, we set off again silently in the direction I had been going. I saw her hesitate, but then move on past one compartment in particular and glanced at it as I passed. A ginger and a brunet were sitting across from each other, and were the only two in the compartment, meaning that this compartment was a lot emptier than the last fifty or so we'd walked past. I was glad, however, that Sally-Anne had passed it over when I noticed the smudge on the ginger boys nose and the ignorant but happy-go-lucky look on the other boys face.

We continued on, and, two carriages later finally found another compartment with only two occupants, and this time girls that looked nearly exactly alike. Sally-Anne took one look at them, shrugged, and pulled open the door. She glanced at me, to which I stepped forward to ask,

"Hey, we couldn't find anywhere else, would you mind if we sit here?"

The two glanced at each other so briefly I nearly missed it. One looked somewhat unsure but the other, who happened to have a novel nearly as thick as Sally-Annes book lying open on her knees, nodded, and indicated the free seats with the hand not resting on her book,

"Sure." She replied. "I'm Padma by the way, Padma Patil. This is my sister Parvati. She'll talk a lot more once you get to know her, trust me." An amused, somewhat exasperated note entered her tone nearing the end, and I saw Sally-Anne smile out of the corner of my eye, though I don't know if it was so much at what Padma said rather than the sight of that impressive novel on her knees. She seemed not to wrapped up in the sight of the book, though, because before I could even move, she chose her seat across from Padma, and promptly introduced herself…and me.

"I'm Sally-Anne, and this is Padma. We only just met as well." She said the last of it in a tone that seemed to imply that nothing else had to be said, to Padma, at least, it seemed to be enough. I took the opportunity to sit down next to Sally-Anne, across from the other girl, Parvati and next to the window. For a long time, nothing else was said. Padma and Sally-Anne were again wrapped up in their books and I was content letting my mind drift while staring out the window. Only one occupant of the compartment was getting increasingly fidgety, creating a tension that was threatening to get on my nerves.

"So, what houses do you two want to be in? I'd really like to be a Gryffindor, I think. I think I'm brave and daring enough and, well, chivalry's a part of it to, which hopefully would mean that the guys are nice and that would be really nice. Gryffindor's and Hufflepuff's seem to be the two nicest houses overall anyway. Ravenclaw's are way to studious and who in their right mind would want to be in Slytherin, except for evil wizards of course. But I wouldn't associate with them anyway" here she shuddered, "I wouldn't want to get hurt"

So apparently the silence had become too much for Parvati. I suppose her chattering could be seen as an indicator of friendliness in an odd sort of way, but I honestly preferred to keep quiet around people I didn't know so well. She seemed nice enough though, so after letting her squirm for a few moments, I gave a quiet answer.

"I'd like to be in Slytherin…or perhaps Ravenclaw". I saw her eyes widen in realization that she had just somewhat insulted me. She seemed to understand though, given by how she seemed now less hopeful for the lengthy, cheerful answers that would most likely be given by 'daring' Gryffindor's or 'kind' Hufflepuff's. She even seemed to accept it, which somewhat surprised me. She nodded hesitantly and turned to Sally-Anne.

"And you?" Personally, I thought that Sally-Anne seemed somewhat too wrapped up in her book to answer, but she once again surprised me by indicating myself with one of her hand while nodding. I took this as agreement with what I had said, and looked again over at Parvati only to realize that she had no clue what the gesture had meant. I wondered whether I should translate, but Padma spared me that by, without having ever previously indicated that she was even listening to our conversation, looking up with a sigh, carefully placing a braided chord as a bookmark in the pages and placing her book aside, and saying patiently, "She agrees with Pansy. Slytherin, of Ravenclaw… Personally, I'd like to go to Ravenclaw."

She gave me a knowing smile, which I returned as an amused smirk. I decided right then and there I didn't mind Padma in the least. On the contrary, she seemed rather intelligent and witty. Her gaze returned to Sally-Anne, who had also now put her book away and was looking between the three of us, though granting only Padma a smile. Padma returned it and then said thoughtfully while looking at me,

"You know, you seemed a bit like a Ravenclaw when you first walked in here: Politer than most, and quieter than most. I think you could fit quite well in Slytherin, though. Not that you seem evil, mind you, but more along the original Slytherin values. That, and I think you might have a quite dry sense of humor, which could fit with both Slytherin and Ravenclaw. It's you" here she turned to Sally-Anne with a quizzical smile, "that I'm confused about. You seem to fit the bill for Ravenclaw perfectly, though you wouldn't necessarily be a misfit for Slytherin, I suppose."

Sally-Anne smiled understandingly. "I don't like heights so much, is part of it" she said with a half-grimmace, half-smirk, "but it's more that I like the idea of being able to be smart without the expectations from the teachers and other houses that Ravenclaw's get. Also, aside from the you-know-who bit, I admire Slytherin traits quite a bit."

Wow. That had been the most she'd said in one go this whole train ride. But it seemed to clear things up for Padma, and relax Parvati, who seemed glad that there were other people stringing full sentences together. However, it also meant that from there on out she did her best to keep the conversation going among the four of us, for fear of another silence that was really only awkward for her. WE obliged her for the next hour or so, the time passing rather quickly as we cautiously got to know each other somewhat better. Cautiously on my part at least. Sally-Anne seemed to have perfected the art of detached interest which allowed her to remain even quieter than I, though she did talk a little with Padma. Padma, on the other hand, spent most of the rest of the train ride being a sort of filter for her sister, and doing her best to keep Parvati from getting overly passionate about anything. I, for my part, tried to keep up with Parati's conversation speed, adding in a sometimes sarcasting, sometimes genuine comment here and there which Padma would then reply to in similar manner, creating a sort of alternatingly two-to-three-to-four way banter that I found myself enjoying. I had, after all, not ever really spent much time with any other girls in my childhood, and I wondered if this was what I had been missing. Before I could get to comfortable, though, the landscape outside noticeably began growing mountainous, and we soon arrived at Hogwarts, the sight of which had even Parvati silent in awe.

AN: Pansy calls Narcissa Malfoy 'Aunt' only because her and Draco's mothers are so close and she's therefore been in a lot of close contact with her. No actual relation implied ;)

Please R&R


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